Killer App
Mar. 9th, 2006 07:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zonewombatI've discovered a new use for my phone camera.
About once a week, I will be in a traffic altercation. This is when nobody gets hit, nobody gets hurt, but at least one person slams on their brakes, jumps out of their car, and starts screaming at the other person, with many gesticulations.
So far, every time this has happened, it's because the other driver did something stupid and I either didn't let them or called them on it. Yesterday, a car on the cross street forced its way in between me and the car in front of me (my street has right of way, the cross street has a stop), and the car behind him rolled through the stop and tried to sneak in also, while I was stopped. I hadn't stopped, though, just slowed enough to clear the first car and not let another in. But the sneaky car hadn't looked (because then he couldn't have gone), so he got stuck, unable to complete his manuever without scraping along my grill, and I was stuck, unable to go forward without hitting him. So I honked.
Last week, I was walking across the street (empty, no cars), when a guy came flying around the corner two blocks up (incidentally he'd been going the wrong way on that one-way street), ran two stop signs, and nearly ran me down. I hadn't bolted, because I thought surely, with a ped in the way, he'd stop at the second sign. And it's a wide street; running flat out is the only way I might have made it. So I flung myself aside, and I sorta kinda let my bag hit the back of his car. He SLAMS on his brakes, starts screaming at me, yadda yadda yadda.
That's the kind of thing that is a "traffic altercation." My unscientific survey of the embassy community indicates that women are the victims 2-to-1 over men, but every man has had an out-of-car experience also.
It's frustrating, because I can't speak Greek well enough to say, "Look, you were clearly in a hurry. It's costing you way more time to yell at me than it would've cost you to FUCKING STOP AT THE FUCKING STOP SIGN, ASSHOLE!!!!" I mean, I only know how to say "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" Which, admittedly, goes a long way.
So I've developed the habit of staring at the guy with the same expression I use in staff meetings. The obviously artfully neutral one that says, "You gonna be wrapping up soon? Coz I need to rearrange my post-it notes."
Yesterday I got bored with that, so I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone, and started taking photos of the guy, still with the same bored expression, looking for particularly good facial contortions. He was startled, then scared, and left.
I figure the responses will be much like that, or a particular bully will try to grab for the phone. But then I have been attacked, and can start breaking his bones.
About once a week, I will be in a traffic altercation. This is when nobody gets hit, nobody gets hurt, but at least one person slams on their brakes, jumps out of their car, and starts screaming at the other person, with many gesticulations.
So far, every time this has happened, it's because the other driver did something stupid and I either didn't let them or called them on it. Yesterday, a car on the cross street forced its way in between me and the car in front of me (my street has right of way, the cross street has a stop), and the car behind him rolled through the stop and tried to sneak in also, while I was stopped. I hadn't stopped, though, just slowed enough to clear the first car and not let another in. But the sneaky car hadn't looked (because then he couldn't have gone), so he got stuck, unable to complete his manuever without scraping along my grill, and I was stuck, unable to go forward without hitting him. So I honked.
Last week, I was walking across the street (empty, no cars), when a guy came flying around the corner two blocks up (incidentally he'd been going the wrong way on that one-way street), ran two stop signs, and nearly ran me down. I hadn't bolted, because I thought surely, with a ped in the way, he'd stop at the second sign. And it's a wide street; running flat out is the only way I might have made it. So I flung myself aside, and I sorta kinda let my bag hit the back of his car. He SLAMS on his brakes, starts screaming at me, yadda yadda yadda.
That's the kind of thing that is a "traffic altercation." My unscientific survey of the embassy community indicates that women are the victims 2-to-1 over men, but every man has had an out-of-car experience also.
It's frustrating, because I can't speak Greek well enough to say, "Look, you were clearly in a hurry. It's costing you way more time to yell at me than it would've cost you to FUCKING STOP AT THE FUCKING STOP SIGN, ASSHOLE!!!!" I mean, I only know how to say "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" Which, admittedly, goes a long way.
So I've developed the habit of staring at the guy with the same expression I use in staff meetings. The obviously artfully neutral one that says, "You gonna be wrapping up soon? Coz I need to rearrange my post-it notes."
Yesterday I got bored with that, so I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone, and started taking photos of the guy, still with the same bored expression, looking for particularly good facial contortions. He was startled, then scared, and left.
I figure the responses will be much like that, or a particular bully will try to grab for the phone. But then I have been attacked, and can start breaking his bones.
