Twisted Tales
Sep. 30th, 2006 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zonewombatHollywood is a busy place, especially when it comes to producing horror movies. Can you figure out the movie from the synopses provided below by bored and underpaid copy writers who never actually saw the film? Hint: These movies were all major releases.
Example: A band of stunted miners take in an outcast waif, then rise up against and depose the ruler of their land when the child is poisoned while under the protection of their home.
Answer: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
2. An evil Assyrian travels to Washington D.C., where he uses a burned-out psychiatrist and young girl as pawns in his plan to kill an elderly archeologist who years before had expelled him from Africa.
3. A doctor must break his Hippocratic Oath to save a small boy and his babysitter from a former patient who hides behind a mask of emotionlessness.
4. A victim of vigilante justice, an onieric ex-janitor seeks revenge against the parents who burned him alive.
5. A black man, who attempts to save the lives of three white women from a mindless mob besieging a rural farmhouse, is shot by a volunteer militia sent by the authorities to save them.
6. A jaded aristocrat moves to a new country to start a new life, only to be hunted down and killed by an angry group of rival suitors when he meets the new love of his life.
7. A U.S. diplomat learns the dangers of unlicensed adoptions when he discovers that his Italian-born son is plotting to have him killed.
8. A land-developer's plan to hide bodies under a suburban housing development is uncovered by a psychic, with help from a small girl, a tennis ball, and a length of rope.
9. A journalist and her film crew join the ranks of the missing when they get caught up in an orienteering misadventure.
10. A murder throws a doctor and a troubled child together, but when they help solve a small girl’s mysterious death, they end up helping one another even more.
11. In wartime Jersey, three understanding servants try to teach a desperate mother the secret she needs to know to protect her two sickly children from terrifying invaders.
12. A journalist, with only a week to live, realizes she should have left well enough alone when she uncovers evidence of an adopted child’s murder that puts her own son in mortal peril.
13. A bargain-hunting family refuses to leave a newly-purchased home even after being told in no uncertain terms to get out.
14. A tall mortician works for alien smugglers in a high-pressure environment until two brothers and an ice-cream vendor discover and foil the evil slavers’ plans.
15. An aspiring actor prostitutes his naïve housewife with fiendishly corrupt big-city neighbors in order to advance his own career.
16. Under heavy cloud cover, water-logged lepers disrupt an anniversary party seeking retribution and the return of a fortune in hidden gold.
17. A small-town witch, stalked by a big-city detective, must rely on a brainless, but murderous, ex-cavalryman to enforce her will in a property dispute gone terribly wrong.
18. After recovering from a particularly hairy attack, a foreign backpacker is cornered by police in an alley and shot down like a dog in front of his distraught girlfriend.
19. A bike messenger, thrust naked and alone into a hostile world, becomes an unlikely hero when he must rescue two women from a compound of heavily armed and loveless military survivalists.
20. A girl discovers her mother has turned to murder to help a former lover escape from a puzzling sado-masochistic prison.
