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I finally had to get a LiveJournal account, so in order to not have it be a complete waste, I'll try to journal some here.  Hopefully I can keep track of things I need to write about later by using LJ.

But first, I feel compelled to share a dream I had last night, wherin I midrashed the bounty hunter scene from The Empire Strikes Back.

Vader has assembled several bounty hunters on a deck of his Super Star Destroyer.  He starts to tell them to find the Millenium Falcon, but the iguana-looking one interrupts.

Iguana Dude: Hey, sorry, but I'm starving.  Don't you guys have any food on this ship?
Vader: There's a cafeteria.  Now, back to your assignm--
Iguana: Sure, everybody SAYS there's a cafeteria, but I keep checking and it's never open.  Can we get a schedule of the cafeteria hours?
Vader: Yes. Fine.  Now, about the --
Other Creepy Bounty Hunter: I don't think I can wait for a schedule.  I've been here a while and I haven't even had coffee.  I don't think they really serve food here.
Iguana: (nods)
Vader: WE DO!  YOUR ASSIGNMENT --
Creepy: But I guess those, whaddyacallem, those white crunchy things...
Iguana: Stormtroopers.
Creepy: Right, stormtroopers.  I guess they don't eat.
Iguana: Sure they do.
Creepy: How could they?  They don't have jaws.
Iguana: Twit.  Those are helmets.  There are humans inside them.
Creepy: No shit?  Huh.
Vader: (rolls eyes inside helmet)
Creepy: Have you tried eating them?
Iguana: The stormtroopers?  Yeah, but you have to flash-fry them first.
Creepy: (hefts blaster) Works for me.
Vader: (bangs head against inside of mask, remaining externally implacable) Your blasters' power supplies were removed when you boarded this vessel, as you recall.  You all still insisted on bringing your weapons in order to "keep it real."
Bounty Hunters: Oh, yeah, right. (Several lower their weapons and quit looking at stormtroopers)
Vader: Now, can we get back to the job at hand?
Iguana: I'd love to, man, but I'm low-blood-sugaring.  I've gotta get a snack.
Vader: (losing patience) FINE!  I'll lock you all in a room and give you working blasters, and whoever survives can eat the others!!!
(silence)
Iguana: Dude.  That just ain't right.























Anyway, I figure that this is why Anakin's head was all swollen and blotchy in TESB, where it looked normalish in ROTJ - he'd been banging it in frustration.  Poor guy.

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ZoneWombat

June 2010

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